Yesterday, I formally rejected an offer of over $100,000 in an academic merit scholarship to St. Thomas University School of Law. That’s almost enough money to pay for half a house!

It has been hard to let it go. Ever since I applied to the school in December, it has been my last choice. I’ve always known there was a very slim chance that I would pass up my first choice school, Regent University School of Law, for St. Thomas…and hence, a slim chance that I would actually use the scholarship.

I know I’ve made the right choice, even though Regent is offering a slightly smaller scholarship than St. Thomas. I know Regent is where I need to be: it has better location, more international opportunities (internships, on-campus employment, the Center for Global Justice, and a chapter of International Justice Mission). But it is still hard to let it go. I keep thinking that I’ve passed up something I’ll never get back.

Then I remember to look at it the opposite way: St. Thomas saw me as worth over $100,000. They saw me as an investment. Someone actually thinks I am worth one hundred thousand dollars… and if THEY thought I was a good investment, and Regent does as well, doesn’t that indicate at least the promise of potential?!

All this thought of measuring one’s worth in material things such as money, setting a price on myself, in a sense, makes me remember what God has said about my worth to him: he loves me and will continue to love me even if I fail him; because of his Son’s death which ransomed my soul (the price of which is higher than anything we can imagine because it is not measured in material things such as gold or silver, but with things above that which money cannot purchase), I am an heir to royalty – I am a child of God; because of God giving me worth, not from any inherent worthiness in myself, I am of more worth to God than any price money could pay.

Have I done the right thing?

Yes.

Will it be easy to move halfway across the country, take out loans for the balance of tuition and living expenses, and start studying something new and unfamiliar?

Probably not.

So what? This is where God has led me, and this is where I am going to go. And I will just forget about the “could have had” attitude: after all, I just kissed $100K away! I have to let it go.

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