I am still in shock.

Have I really just been accepted into law school? To an elite Honors Program at the school I thought I might not even be accepted to???

It is difficult not to be nervous about the upcoming year. Everyone loves to share their horrors of the first year of law school…the first year is the most intense, specifically geared towards weeding out students who are not serious about their studies. I shouldn’t be worried – I have always been a serious student. But what if I cannot keep up? What if I am lacking experience, ability, knowledge, “smartness,” or time? What if I snap?

One friend reminded me that the admissions committees on law schools see thousands of applicants, and they know what a successful applicant is like. They have chosen me and said that I have the potential they are looking for, so I should trust them and recognize that I have what it takes.

Part of that is true. The school, Regent University School of Law, has said that all graduating students have a bar passage rate of 89%. Students who scored 155 or above on the LSAT had a pass rate of 95%, while students who scored above 160 have a 100% pass rate. I scored 161, so I should, in theory be fine.

But it is so hard to let go of the “what ifs“. Maybe that is the part of me that will enable me to be a good lawyer. Or maybe it is the part of me that is unwilling to trust God.

This entire process of getting into law school has been a total confirmation that I am heading in the right direction, doing what God wants. It all seems so ridiculously hard, yet I made it. I chose law school completely on my own – no career advisor, no counselor was there to help me. I picked a terrific pre-law major without knowing I’d go to law school. I thought the LSAT would be like the GRE for me – I’d get an average score, not one good enough to earn scholarships. I studied completely on my own, and scored lower than I hoped. It was above average, but still lower than I was aiming for. Despite what I considered a “low” score, I was admitted and offered a killer scholarship. It was as if God was saying, “Stop limiting me! If I want you somewhere, I’ll put you there!”

For once, I am able to plan. I have vision, I know what I want to do and why I want to do it. This is of God. All of this is so much better than I could have ever hoped for.

Now, my dreams are about to become real. I have to make a choice: will I cower away from trust like Moses, stammering that I am not the one God wants to use, or will I humbly accept the chance He has given me and obey Him like Daniel did?

I’ve come this far, I’m not about to turn around now! Bring on the sleepless nights, bring on the endless research and reading, bring on the critics and the questions. I will focus on my God, I will choose to stop worrying about tomorrow!

Now to work through some Blackstone, American and Korean history, and economics texts…

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