What Is My Passion?
Last night, I watched The Passion of the Christ. It was the fourth time I have seen the film, although I think it was actually much harder for me to see it this time.
I knew I needed to see it though, knew that I needed to be reminded of everything Christ did to demonstrate His love towards us. I do not at all enjoy watching the terrifying gore, but I need to be broken, I need to remember how He was broken. I so quickly forget the cost Christ paid for my redemption; it is easy to simply think of his death as quick or not overly meaningful or painful. Especially when I read the account of the crucifixion in the Gospels, it seems so emotionless, so factual. I cannot comprehend what exactly the words “Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged,” mean or to what extent he was beaten by the Council. And when I fail to remember everything, His physical pain, emotional agony of being rejected, or the total brutality and horrific sin of man, I do not value Him as I should, and I readily abandon His way for my own selfish one.
Although there are a few liberties taken in the film that I am not sure I agree with, I believe it gives a very good description of what Christ did endure. Some of the most powerful scenes for me were when Christ was rejected by the Jewish Council, when Pilate asked Christ what truth was, and when Christ prays to God to forgive his executioners because they did not know what they were doing. I kept thinking I have rejected Him, every time I choose to follow something besides Him, I reject Him and his sacrifice. I also kept thinking about how wonderful it is that there is Truth, and that God has provided the Way, Truth, and Life. Without the truth, we would still be captives bound by Satan’s lies, the negations of Truth. But because of Christ, the Truth, we now have a Way to God and freedom from our bondage to sin and lies.
So what, or Who, is my passion? Christ’s passion was to honor God, and to rescue us; what is mine? I like to say or think that Christ is my passion, that living for Him is my life goal. But the little decisions I make every day seem to suggest otherwise. To borrow Switchfoot’s lyrics, where’s my treasure, who’s my hope? If Christ endured everything for me, and enables me to endure whatever He asks of me, why should I not live for Him with a single passion?
As Paul says, I must decrease, He must increase. And,
What shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long: we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39
This great love demands my soul, my life, my all.
Content?
Recently, I have been thinking much about being content. The Bible verse “And be content with such things as you have,” keeps popping into my mind. I try to be content, but it just doesn’t come naturally! I often wish for more, and stress about meeting financial deadlines, but, in theory, I am content with the money and physical things I have. In theory, I know I am blessed far beyond what I deserve, and that what possessions I tend to take for granted, others in the world see as great wealth.
But in practice…in practice, I am a complainer. I stress about financial matters, tend to get worked up about not having what I think I need, and often forget to have an attitude of gratitude. I know that there is no reason to do so, that God has proved Himself capable of meeting my every need, so the stress usually only lasts a few hours or even minutes.
Where am I going with all this? Well, today in church, I read 1 Timothy 6: 1-10 and was struck with verse 6: “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” I have read this verse many times before, but somehow, I never noticed the context in which it was written. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul is writing instructions to bond servants, or slaves. He is teaching them that they should be respectful of their masters, and use their slavery as an opportunity to honor God by providing a good testimony to their masters. Right after this section specifically addressed to slaves are some verses about false teachers, and how they see “godliness” as a means for financial gain. Anyway, the verse about godliness with contentment is given in the context of slavery and proves that even slaves could be content. They had nothing – not even themselves. But because the value of godliness totally surpasses any physical wealth or gain, even slaves could be content in God. Not that this excuses slavery by any means, but it struck me as I read it, that when God asks me to be content, He not only gives me plenty to be content with, He expects me to be fully content in Him without the physical “stuff” I typically think I need.
I used to commonly think that, yes, contentment is good, and I should and would be content…as soon as I got such and such a thing. Or that we should always be content with moderation, or the “average,” but the thought never really took hold of me that we should be content no matter what our circumstances are. Because if God is true to His word and never changes, and if He is able to meet all our needs (spiritual and physical) our true status never changes – we are always rich in Him!
Paul wrote lots more on contentment (“For I have learned to be content in all things…”), and it is all equally good, but this little verse just stuck out for me today.
Egolove: Misquote, Misidentify, Me
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not jealous, does not boast, is not prideful, keeps no record of wrongs, does not seek its own good, but the good of others. Love never fails. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have faith to move mountains and do all things, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I give all I possess to the poor, and deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I profit nothing. Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Misquote of 1 Cor.13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But do I love? Have I Love: hopeful, faithful, enduring? I have little faith, yet see myself with much. I give some of my possessions to the poor, and occasionally deliver my toast (never a part of myself) to be burned. I like to speak -often use my tongue- but my ears are not practiced enough to tell whether my words are musical or obnoxious. I rarely envy another or his possessions, unless they happen to be something I lack. I only keep track of the important stuff…like when a friend refuses to ask me a simple “Hey, is everything OK?” I am prideful enough to admit that I am. Is this for my good, or yours? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” – Matt. 22:37-39 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is love? Is it perhaps the only way to get outside ourselves? The only lowly path to significance? The only Source of joy and Love being God?
”God is Love.” -1 John 4:16
” For God so loved the world, that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him has everlasting life.” -John 3:16
Yes, God loves me. But the problem seems to be that I do not love others. At least, not in the perfect Love that I should. Why am I always so willing to love for myself, not truly LOVE others? Love is not about ME. Love is about God, and, consequently, about others. The very notions of love as being about myself and what is best for ME, are deceptive and false. Me-centered Love is not love…it is egolove, a contradiction in terms. And should it be any surprise that this egolove gives nothing to the Self? In trying to save the Self, it causes the Self to be lost, hopelessly and terribly lost? Severing the Self from what it needs most, it prompts the Self to turn to others in an attempt to gain life again, but this still is not Love. It is another manifestation of egolove: the desire for others’ love in return for the Self’s love, the Self-seeking life fix. Love is about others: one can love oneself, but is that “love?” On our own, we are only capable of egolove; can anyone love, not egolove, without God? For, if a man desires to save his life, he must first lose it. And not to himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
”When love becomes a god, it can become a demon too.”
-C.S. Lewis, on 1 John 4:16
