Willing to Risk It All?
Am I willing to risk it?
To really love others, at my own risk?
It seems like people are forever talking about taking risks in love, mainly romantic love, but the risks they speak of involve mostly physical, sometimes emotional, risks in exchange for the reward of either love, or what they perceive to be love. But to really risk everything, in exchange for nothing for oneself, this is love. The irony of course, is that when we do risk everything for others’ benefit, and not our own, we are benefitted most. But when done exclusively for the benefit it gives oneself to give to others, is it love? And, if it is not, can one receive the reward?
It seems so easy for me to be willing to risk all for God, to risk it all out of my love for Him. But, while it is easy for me to be willing, it is not so easy to commit to actually risking it.
To risk having my pride trampled, being taken advantage of, becoming destitute, losing control, being a nobody - it all seems so easy to say ‘yes’ to in theory, but it is so easy to say ‘no’ to in practice.
I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
If one follows this passage and takes the “risks,” he or she would in effect take the risks of being late, being scorned, being ignored, being cheated, being wronged, being hurt (physically and emotionally), being lied to, being stepped on, being overlooked, etc.
But, if one does take those risks, he or she would be able to have the “most excellent way.” It certainly is worth it. So why don’t I take the everyday risks more? Is my own selfishness really so powerful?
I say I am willing to risk it all, even my life, for Christ. But when it comes to daily taking up my cross and following Him, and so loving Him and others, does my willingness show?
1 Corinthians 12:30b; 13:1-9, 13
And now I will show you the most excellent way.
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the tuth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away…
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.
Egolove: Misquote, Misidentify, Me
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not jealous, does not boast, is not prideful, keeps no record of wrongs, does not seek its own good, but the good of others. Love never fails. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have faith to move mountains and do all things, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I give all I possess to the poor, and deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I profit nothing. Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Misquote of 1 Cor.13
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But do I love? Have I Love: hopeful, faithful, enduring? I have little faith, yet see myself with much. I give some of my possessions to the poor, and occasionally deliver my toast (never a part of myself) to be burned. I like to speak -often use my tongue- but my ears are not practiced enough to tell whether my words are musical or obnoxious. I rarely envy another or his possessions, unless they happen to be something I lack. I only keep track of the important stuff…like when a friend refuses to ask me a simple “Hey, is everything OK?” I am prideful enough to admit that I am. Is this for my good, or yours? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” – Matt. 22:37-39 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is love? Is it perhaps the only way to get outside ourselves? The only lowly path to significance? The only Source of joy and Love being God?
”God is Love.” -1 John 4:16
” For God so loved the world, that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him has everlasting life.” -John 3:16
Yes, God loves me. But the problem seems to be that I do not love others. At least, not in the perfect Love that I should. Why am I always so willing to love for myself, not truly LOVE others? Love is not about ME. Love is about God, and, consequently, about others. The very notions of love as being about myself and what is best for ME, are deceptive and false. Me-centered Love is not love…it is egolove, a contradiction in terms. And should it be any surprise that this egolove gives nothing to the Self? In trying to save the Self, it causes the Self to be lost, hopelessly and terribly lost? Severing the Self from what it needs most, it prompts the Self to turn to others in an attempt to gain life again, but this still is not Love. It is another manifestation of egolove: the desire for others’ love in return for the Self’s love, the Self-seeking life fix. Love is about others: one can love oneself, but is that “love?” On our own, we are only capable of egolove; can anyone love, not egolove, without God? For, if a man desires to save his life, he must first lose it. And not to himself.
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”When love becomes a god, it can become a demon too.”
-C.S. Lewis, on 1 John 4:16
It’s all Greek To Me!
So, I have been reading and watching a little Greek drama lately (Iphigenia, Oedipus the King, and bits of Medea). They are seriously weird. There are so many themes that these plays bring up or emphasize which are very timeless and useful to think about, but on the whole, they seem to be written in a foreign language…wait, they are.
I still haven’t really figured out my thoughts on the matter…other than being convinced that Medea was a very evil person/sorceress/goddess!!
Does Oedipus really control his fate? Or are the gods/prophesies all-controlling and binding? Did Agamemnon do the right thing in sacrificing his daughter? Was he selfless or selfish?
Paradox seems to be present everywhere in Greek drama. Perhaps this is one of its redeeming qualities, probing readers to move beyond the surface explanations of events. Cause/effect relationships seem to be a major form of the paradoxical elements.
For example, Oedipus the King (otherwise known as Oedipus Rex) seems to go against one of the fundamental Greek teachings of Sophocles’ time, which was “Know Thyself.” Considering that the source of Oedipus’ downfall seems to be that he relentlessly pursues the truth and tries to learn who he is (know himself), to his own peril, this teaching seems to be completely spurned. And yet, did Oedipus really know himself? Did he take advantage of opportunities to learn the truth about himself?
Back when he was still in Corinth, he has a suspicion that his Corinthian parents really were not his biological parents, so he leaves to go consult the gods. While he is there, Apollo gives him the oracle declaring the prophesy that was told earlier to his biological parents. However, instead of pursuing the answer to his question about who his parents really were, he leaves Corinth for Thebes in order to avoid the prophesy. So, did he really take advantage of every opportunity to “know himself?” Couldn’t he have consulted the gods further, or if not, he could at least have gone to his supposed parents and asked them the truth about himself.
Screwtape Letters
I am working my way through C.S. Lewis’ great bookThe Screwtape Letters. This book consists of a series of letters from Screwtape, a demon expert on tempting humans, giving advice to his nephew, Wormwood, about how to become a more effective tempter to his human “patient.”
I find this a very original work. By its seemingly backwards position on things, readers are forced to see things from a different perspective than normally assumed when discussing spiritual matters. For example, when Screwtape speaks of “The Enemy,” he is referring to God, not the Devil (whom is commonly referred to as “The Enemy,” but in this called by Screwtape “Our Father”). This different perspective seems to promote more awareness of our quirks and flaws as humans…it forces us to take a step back and look at ourselves through another’s eyes. Not only does this give us a new perspective on our weaknesses, strengths, and relationship to God, it allows us to judge ourselves, more especially because we see our race talked about in third person. This is a highly effective way of promoting reader awareness, and for my part, I am immensely enjoying this read!
It is often very convicting…
Here is an excerpt from Letter 7:
“My dear Wormwood,
I wonder you should ask me whether it is essential to keep the patient in ignorance of your own existence. That question, at least for the present phase of the struggle, has been answered for us by the High Command. Our policy, for the moment, is to conceal ourselves. Of course this has not always been so. We are really faced with a cruel dilemma. When the humans disbelieve in our existence we lose all the pleasing results of direct terrorism and we make no magicians. On the other hand, when they believe in us, we cannot make them materialists and sceptics. At least, not yet, I have great hopes that we shall learn in due time how to emotionalise and mythologise their science to such an extent that what is, in effect, a belief in us (though not under that name) will creep in while the human mind remains closed to belief in the Enemy. The ‘Life Force’, the worship of sex, and some aspects of Psychoanalysis, may here prove useful. If once we can produce our perfect work -the Materialist Magician, the man, not using, but veritably worshipping, what he vaguely calls ‘Forces’ while denying the existence of ’spirits’ -then the end of the war will be in sight. But in the meantime we must obey our orders. I do not think you will have much difficulty in keeping the patient in the dark. The fact that ‘devils’ are predominantly comic figures in the modern imagination will help you. If any faint suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of something in red tights, and persuade him that since he cannot believe in that (it is an old textbook method of confusing them) he therefore cannot believe in you.”
Song in the Night
5
I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,
Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,
But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet
Wherewith the seasonable month endows
The grass, the thicket, and the fruit tree wild:
White hawthorne, and the pastoral eglantine;
Fast fading violets cover’d up in leaves;
and mid-may’s eldest child,
The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,
The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.
7
Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.
8
Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toll me back from thee to my sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
As she is fam’d to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
Up the hill-side; and now ’tis buried deep
In the next valley-glades:
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music: -Do I wake or sleep?
-By John Keats, from Ode to a Nightingale
Do we wake or sleep? Is life only the prelude to Death; does the Nightingale’s song extend only just until day when the sun takes over, and we are again reminded of the diseases and blights of life? Or is Death rather a prelude to Life?
Keats himself, as a trained physician, knew, perhaps more than many, of the prevalence of physical and emotional pain, disease, sadness, and decay. In short, all of life’s ugliness. Yet he still knew some of the joy, the beauty, the mysterious wonder of life.Who cannot notice the incredible beauty dancing throughout his poetry? The sensory imagery, the musical qualities, the creation of ideas? His purposeful portrayal of life’s sweet pain?
This particular poem of Keat’s is my favorite. I can relate to feeling the weight of the tediousness of everyday life, the ever-present pain in the world, the confusing darkness. Life seems so terribly confusing at times, the good only a distant memory, that I often wonder whether I wake or sleep. But even in the darkness, no, especially in the darkness, there is a song. Is it ironic that the poet hears the nightingale’s song in the evening, when everything is dark, and life seems to be at its bleakest, and then dreads to wake in the day, when life is at its brightest? If it were not for the darkened sky, would we be able to see the stars? If life is not sometimes tempered with pain, would we be able to appreciate its joy?
In a letter to persecuted Jewish Christians in the early church, James wrote:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the tesing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “
-James 1:2-4
Suffering then, eventually becomes a positive thing, shaping us and strengthening our faith. If we believe in the salvation offered to us through Christ’s death and resurrection, we recognize that our stay here in a fallen world torn with death and sin is but a temporary trial, eventually leading into everlasting life. It could be compared to the night before the dawn of an eternal day. We may find peace in the knowledge that “God is light; in Him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5) and that He alone is stronger than sin and all of its deadly consequences. Unlike the nightingale’s song, He will never leave us or forsake us. And unlike the beauty described in Ode to a Nightingale, His beautiful perfection is not spoiled or in any way subject to decay.
Life’s burdens often seem so pressing, and life’s pain so prevalent, that I, like the poet, often wish that I could “leave the world unseen,/ And with thee (nightingale) fade away into the forest dim(stanza 2).” But it is only when we stay and choose to focus our eyes on God’s perfection, even in the midst of our world’s imperfections, that we are able to stand through the trials and gain strength. It is only when we are able to wake to God’s love and sleep to our selfishness that we will be able to constantly hear the song in the night.
Listen
Listen...such an important verb. It is becoming less and less used, it seems. We use it, in the sense that we often speak the word and write or talk about listening (what an oxymoron!), but it seems that we rarely stop to listen. Not talk, just listen. To ask questions, then listen to their responses.
People rush around us, they shout, they whisper. Who hears them? Do we even hear ourselves? Do we ever hear God?
Of course, here I am doing exactly what I am questioning…blogs are basically formatted to allow a central author to elaborate on his or her ideas without listening…
But perhaps I can learn to be a better listener. Maybe I will finally realize the wisdom of James and apply his instruction “…be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19)”. I think it is about time that I began to listen more actively to God, then to people…
“Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once.”
-Turkish proverb
Slow down,
listen to God,
listen to others,
listen to the stillness,
and listen for a song………………….
